Weary

I was warned that symptoms could continue to get worse for a week or so even after treatment was over.  While the throat isn't too bad, and neither is the skin rash, I'm certainly weary and lacking energy.  It's not as bad as with chemo -- I'm mostly functional, and not just lying around all day.  But tiny little exertions leave me winded and tired.  Like even just walking around the neighborhood.  My work had a white water rafting trip on Friday that I was originally pondering going on, but there was really no way that that was going to happen.  I instead was hoping to ride in the 20th anniversary of Critical Mass that evening, but that I think would have been a bit too much either.  Even getting on my bike for tiny little errands around town seems a bit daunting right now.  It's been a few weeks I think since I rode at all.  I'm also just generally kind of sore, especially in the morning.

Nevertheless, I am trying to have a positive outlook.  Treatment is done, and in all likelihood I'll feel a lot better in a couple of weeks.

And the hot flashes are mostly gone (much diminished in both frequency and severity).  And while I'm not sleeping quite as well as I'd like, most of the times it's not too bad.  I've also had several nights in a row where I remembered dreams.  Which only seems like a big deal because it suddenly made me realize that I'm not sure if I remember even a single dream other than those since beginning treatment.  Which makes me wonder if I went 7 whole months without any REM sleep.

So the bottom line is that I am looking forward to the future, and I do hope to return to work in about a month.  But the past few days have reminded me of why I'm still taking time off.  I do still need some time to recover.