Ups and downs

Sorry it's been a while.  It seems like either I've been feeling well and am too busy to be blogging, or when I'm not busy, I'm not feeling well enough for it.

I kind of figured that having been through this twice before, I'd know what to expect.  But perhaps I should really just learn to expect the unexpected.  Week 1 of cycle 3 in general wasn't all that great.  I didn't have the crazy emotional mood swings of cycle 2, and nothing physical was really all that bad, but have kind of felt weary and run down a lot.  Except when I wasn't, that is -- so goes the ups and downs of chemo side effects, I guess.  Perhaps some of it is related to the cold, which after 2.5+ weeks I have still to fully kick.  I wonder how long that will take.  What's lingering with that is still some occasional congestion, and also just a general feeling of being stuffed in the head.

The sleep issues thankfully haven't been quite as bad as before.  While actively on Prednisone I tried Ambien CR, which is stronger than regular Ambien and has a continuous release part that's supposed to help you stay asleep once you get to sleep.  I think it might be a bit too strong for me, though, in that perhaps some of my grogginess during the day is an after effect of that.  So I've also tried some of just going back to regular Ambien -- which so far is effective enough at helping me to get to sleep, although twice now I've woken up at 6 am and not been able to get back to sleep.  And ultimately my hope and plan is that sleep meds are just for the beginning of the cycle anyway.  Or at least if and when I can finally fully get over the cold.

I was previously all set to announce that I had solidly cleared the 10 pound mark in weight gained, but now I've come to the realization that it's a bit more complicated than that.  My weight can vary tremendously in a short amount of time, and I probably really shouldn't pay attention to what it is at the beginning of the cycle.  I had managed to top 140#, but then overnight I lost nearly 10 pounds.  So realistically I think I'm more in the 5-10# gain range.  As long as I'm not losing again overall in the long run, I suppose that's okay.  And if I really had topped 140#, I might be more reserved with my sweet tooth -- now I feel I'm more in the position to continue my endeavors as a patissier.

The biggest new'ish issue I'm having to cope with is that I've been having hot flashes.  They don't last that long, and don't happen that frequently, but they're kind of unpleasant and certainly annoying.  This isn't the first time they've happened, but they've definitely increased in frequency this cycle.

And then last night I was trying to figure out why I felt simultaneously like I needed to eat more for dinner, but that maybe I had had too much to eat.  And then my stomach started getting all crampy.  And then I realized, oh yeah, it's week 2.  Ugh.

But enough whining about side effects.  I don't want this blog to just be a repetitive list of physical ailments.  I think I am making it sound worse than it actually has been.  And in between periods of feeling crappy, I actually have had some periods of feeling amazingly well and having a good time.  So I'd rather switch to talking about those.

Friday started out with me not feeling all that well, but it ended up being a pretty awesome day.  I headed into the city and did some shopping.  I got some beautiful new button down shirts on a 2 for 1 sale -- now I just need to do enough going out to dinner or other nice places to warrant the spiffy clothes.  Also looked at some blazers and vests but didn't buy anything.  I finally got a new wallet -- my >decade old one was literally falling apart.  It's also been more than a decade since I got new glasses frames (and I think about 5 years since I got new lenses), so I did some shopping for new glasses as well.  I haven't made a final decision yet, but I've narrowed it down to a few choices.  I also really could use some new jeans -- the pairs I have now are too big, as well as starting to fall apart.  Sadly, I can't just buy them again in a smaller size, because Express no longer makes them.  Which kind of pisses me off, given how long it took me in the past to finally find a brand and style of jeans that fit me well.  The search continues.

After shopping, I met my friend Heather for dinner.  It had been a while since I'd been out for a nice'ish sit down dinner, so for me it was quite a treat.  And Friday was really the peak of me feeling well, so it worked out fine staying in the city until about 11 pm.  (So much for times gone by of all night parties -- 11 pm seems really late to me now.)

Saturday we headed to Matt and Alice's for some tasty red velvet cake in honor of Alice's birthday.  Which was enjoyable, although I was feeling kind of weary on Saturday.

But then by Sunday I was feeling well again, and we took Laura and [a different] Matt up on their offer to babysit Dylan.  We dropped him off then headed to the beautiful Grand Lake Theatre to see a matinee (the pre-show organist is only present on Friday and Saturday nights, alas) of the Hunger Games.  These were the books that I started reading when I had a bunch of time to kill waiting around for medical stuff.  Other than my feeling that in general the casting was a bit on the old side (it was hard to accept most of the kids as kids), I felt it was very well done.  Being out for a movie again was also a nice treat -- it's interesting how much I can appreciate what normally would be tiny little enjoyments of life.  Thank you Laura and Matt for helping to make that happen!

It's been getting increasingly warm here, and I've been doing my best to try to enjoy the nice weather when I'm feeling up to it.  Right now I'm once again sitting out on the front porch blogging, which I'm not sure if I've done since cycle 1.  I'm also getting an opportunity to use my expanded collection of hats -- yesterday I wore the straw fedora, and today it's warm and sunny enough that I'm wearing the wide brimmed panama hat.

Later today I've got a private yoga session scheduled.  And tomorrow our tentative plan is to head to the beach with Dylan.  Hopefully week 2 will cooperate well enough for me.

Some blooms in the freshly weeded front yard.

Morning sunlight on the wisteria in the back yard. While it may not be as impressive as most other people's wisteria, it is finally looking somewhat decent this year. It's about time, given how much aggravation the plant causes me.

Dylan the young foodie, enjoying chipotle-pancetta Manila clams.  Food, babysitting, and photo courtesy of Laura and Matt.